56 days have passed since I touched back down in Canada. Seems almost like I never left. Seems as though I didn't experience what I experienced. I didn't see what I saw. I didn't live that life halfway across the globe.
Reverse culture shock
, for me, was (is) a bizarre thing. I didn't have nightmares or flashbacks of my time in Burkina. I didn't accidentally start bartering with vendors in Canada, as is accustom to do in Burkina markets. I fell right back into routine, right back into Canadian culture. What got me was the reference library that now sits in my brain and that constantly floods my thoughts. Often when a conversation topic comes up - complaining about wait times in hospitals, for example - I can't help but think of my experience. I want to mention that Yako had (has) one doctor. That there are 6 doctors for every 100,000 people in the country - imagine the wait time to see a doctor there. When people talk about kids, it almost always triggers an image of a little girl selling me peanuts on a tray atop her head in the marketplace. Or I think of the kids in our courtyard playing in the dust until their feet are stained with a reddish hue - where will these kids be in 10 years?
I'm caught in between two ways of living - and I can't surrender to either side. I can't give up my Burkinabè experience, nor will I ever be able to forget my 'maternal culture'. I am also cautious of how I use my reference library. Often when discussions come up, I want to add my point of view, but my perspective is so limited. I have experienced but two cultures - that doesn't really qualify me to understand much.
I have been questioned countless times of how my trip was. I have a standard answer now: it was a good experience. I really don't know how my trip was, I don't think I have fully grasped its importance on my life - but my standard answer satisfies the curiosity of most. I appreciate when people want to know more, but few have sat in the corridors of my library and studied my newly published perspectives. Perhaps they are scared of what they will find - perhaps I have not completely opened it to my friends and family.
What is clear is that Burkina Faso changed me. From the outside perhaps I have hidden its affect, but internally I still search for clarity. Why tell you this? Life is full of experiences. I've lived my fair share, but nothing has been as impacting as Burkina. I have had my first hit of the drug that is life with all its new cultures, new shocks, new perspectives, new sadnesses, new joys, new hopes, new cynicisms. Being trapped in the bubble of
routine shields us from life's abundant diversity. Being afraid of life's painful realities scares us into the corner where we do anything to escape this truth. This experience was a reminder that it is best to step out from our corner of fear and feel something different. Feel something that may hurt, or that may do just the opposite. Life is best lived with passion, and this passion is fueled by the experiences that life presents.
